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What's Ha-Pnin? -- the Return of the Double Dactyls

Perhaps you have been curious as to why I have posted no new double dactyls since before the turn of the year.  I blame a drought of inspiration, and a temporary inability to spot or conjure up properly dactylic proper names. 

Yesterday morning standing beneath a hot shower -- prime conditions for composing double dactyls in one's head -- I thought of the six-syllabled name of the emigré author of such modern classics as Lolita and Pale Fire, Vladimir Nabokov.  A subject, at last!  My pleasure dissipated, however, as I realized that the name only fit properly if one mispronounced it.  But soft! is that the metaphorical sound of life's metaphorical lemons being squeezed to produce a bracing pitcher of metaphorical lemonade?  Indeed it is, and the result of quaffing that refreshing faux-Parnassian draught is this, my first double dactyl of two-double-ought-five:

Nabokov_1A Pronouncement

Lovely Lolita says:
"'Vlah-dimir Nah-bokov'
Isn't correct when pro-
nouncing his name.

"Don't Stand So Close to Me
Has it all wrong: say 'Vla-
Dih-mir Na-boh-kov' or
Wither in shame."

For Further Reading:  The writer provides guidance in the correct pronunciation of his name in this interview from 1965; he also gives pointers for speaking of another of his creations, Professor Pnin.  Elsewhere, in the "You Never Know What You Might Find on the Internet" category: CNN provides an interactive map on which to trace the travels of Humbert Humbert and Miss Dolores Haze from the redwood forests to the Gulf's green waters.

Bonus Poetry Content:  On the occasion of our improving Southern California weather, under the influence of Schenectady's own haikuEsq, a postdiluvian haiku of sorts:

Storm clouds withdrawn
Rainbow climbs
Above the car wash


David Giacalone

Although "postdiluvian" may be a bit premature, George, it's never too soon to share a haiku moment. Thanks.


Mathematicians, they
Deal with fractals
But not double-dactyls
Like some Fools we know.

What could be neater
Than using this meter?
A sestine could be sweeter,
But then again, no.

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