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A Clever Plan

Good grief. A fella goes out for the evening (more of that later, I expect) and when he wakes up the next morning the entire complexion of the California recall election seems to have changed: Arnold Schwarzenegger is running to replace Gray Davis after a week of sources assuring us all that he would not, former LA Mayor Richard Riordan is reportedly caught by surprise as his friend Arnold reverses his field, Lt. Governor Cruz Bustamante may be swearing off his prior assurance that he would never have anything to do with the recall*, and so on and on.

Meanwhile, yesterday brought this site its highest hit levels yet, driven largely by my betes noir: people who cannot correctly spell the first name of K. Bean** Bryant.

What can this concatenation of events possibly mean (other than nothing at all)? It can only signify that Bryant must run for Governor of California. He has immense name recognition, even among those who can't spell that name, and remains hugely popular despite the possibility that he may actually be Guilty As Charged. Winning the governsorhip should be, dare I say it, a Slam Dunk. Once in office, Mr. Bryant simply needs to run the Berlusconi Defense and have the Legislature - grateful no doubt to have a popular figure again at the head of state government - vote him immunity from prosecution while in office. It is the perfect solution to the young man's many problems.

*Postscript: Lt. Governor Bustamante was so unequivocal in June that his words bear repeating, so that we may draw what conclusions we will from whatever he chooses to do this week:

'I will not participate in any way other than to urge voters to reject this expensive perversion of the recall process,' he said. 'I will not attempt to advance my career at the expense of the people I was elected to serve. I do not intend to put my name on that ballot.'
**Postscript 2: We learn from the L.A. Daily News that "Bryant's unusual middle name -- not generally known before now -- comes from the nickname of his father, former NBA player Joe 'Jelly Bean' Bryant."


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