Night of the 16-Stone Transvestite Hitler, or, Welcome to Mel Aviv!
Ah! Bitter Dregs . . .

Lovely, Crafty

"... with extra tentacles, please!"

        --Bart Simpson, "Homer's Night Out"

~~~

Ho ho!   Usually, it is Professor Bainbridge who first links to risible variants on the horrific and tentacular mythos of H.P. Lovecraft: here, for instance, and again here, and yet again here.   (There are more, but you will have to find them yourselves.)    Today, however, with thanks to Morgan Meis and 3quarksdaily, I can command you, before Professor B does so, to

Harken, worthless mortals, to the mind-and-soul- devouring Calls of Cthulhu!

PHONE COMPANY: Hello, you have reached the Arkham Phone Company.  Our goal is to make your phone service the best.  If you have a question about your service, press 1.  If you wish to change or cancel your service, press 2.

(CTHULHU presses 2.)

PHONE COMPANY: If you wish to change your service, press 1.  If you wish to cancel your service, press 2.

(CTHULHU presses 2.)

PHONE COMPANY: Please stay on the line while we connect you to an operator.

(CTHULHU waits.)

PHONE COMPANY: Hello, you have reached the Arkham Phone Company.  Our goal is to make your phone service the best...

(CTHULHU hangs up.  CTHULHU quietly weeps.)

 

Comments

Cowtown Pattie

"I have seen the dark universe yawning... "

I think Lovecraft unknowingly penned the perfect critique of Stephen King! He was truly a man before his time, no? ( not King, I'm talkin' Da King of Horror - HP)

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